January 11, 2024
By MEALAND RAGLAND-HUDGINS
Rutherford County Schools
It’s been nearly a year since Tanya Hussein published the book “A Walk in My Heart.”
Dedicated to her grandfather, the book is a collection of nearly 90 poems that capture feelings of heartbreak, self-doubt, love and grief.
Hussein, a senior at Smyrna High, began writing while in middle school as a way to help manage her feelings and find herself as her family moved between the United States and Iraq due to her father’s job.
Before readers dive in, they’ll find a note from the young author letting them know the book is as much theirs as it is hers. The 142-page book is available for purchase on Amazon.
Hussein recently talked about the origin of the book, how many copies have been sold and her plans after high school graduation.
Talk a little about your book and how it came about.
Hussein: If you look at the title, it’s an easy way to understand. I was dealing with a lot of emotions during middle school and in my early years of high school. I didn't know who I was. I had no sense of what I should do. I was dealing with the loss of my grandfather and the fact that I wasn't there to say goodbye and having to grieve while also acting as if everything was OK and also focusing on my studies, which were very important. And it all kind of got too much.
I'm the kind of child who doesn't like to talk about her feelings with other people. Not my parents, not my siblings and not my friends. I prefer to keep my problems to myself and that kind of that's kind of how it came about. I started to write as a way to cope with everything and then slowly as I read them, I was like, “Maybe somebody else feels this way, so if I put this out in the world and somebody finds it, even if it's not a lot of people, if it's just one person who finds one word that they relate to, then I've done what I should do.”
Where was your grandfather living when he died?
Hussein: He was living in Iraq. I'm an immigrant. We came to the states when I was around 7 to 8 years old. It wasn't safe for us to stay in Iraq. My dad was a translator for the U.S. Army and that put us in a dangerous situation. There was a program that we applied to (in order) to move here for our safety. We were traveling back and forth for some time. My grandfather got sick with cancer. And we spent two years in Iraq before we had to move back to the states, and that was the last time I saw him because cancer got him. It was around three years ago.
The book was published last year. Did you spend all that time writing?
Hussein: This book, it's been like my best friend. I've been working on it for five years. It was supposed to be published when I was 15, so two years ago, but some things happened, and I decided to postpone it.
How many copies have you sold so far?
Hussein: That's a good question. I don't check. I feel like that's not what's really important and I know that if I check it will bring my spirits down as a writer, especially knowing that there are so many more books out there and it's difficult for my book to be found. It feels like if I check, I'm kind of lying to myself in a way. I write to feel good about myself, to make me better and make others better.
And if I continuously check to see how many copies I've sold, then it'll feel like I'm doing it for the wrong reasons.
So writing was one way that you dealt with grief. Did you use any other methods?
Hussein: Yes. So writing, reading and studying were my best friends for a while, before I realized I could also rely on other people, so my friends and my family.
What clubs and activities are you involved in at Smyrna High? What are your plans after graduation?
Hussein: I just recently came to Smyrna. I've been here for like two or three months. I just moved back to the states again. This year, I'm part of the National Honor Society and Interact Club, Student Council and HOSA (an organization for future health professionals). I am interested in pre-med and I want to go down the medical route. It’s great to be in a place where the teachers and principals believe in you and your dreams and want you to succeed.
What do you think people should know about ways to handle grief?
Hussein: It never goes away, you know. You're never really going to get over the loss of someone close to you and someone special. But knowing that their memories are still there and that you can keep them alive, whether it is through you being happy or you doing things to honor their memory, then that's what's important. If we get so lost in it that you don't want to live this life anymore, then it feels like a dishonor to what they stood for.